An Apology to the Groundsman…

I’ll start this story with an apology to the groundsman at Kilmarnock Rugby Club.

I don’t imagine the staff there will be sending the Seahawks or the EKP Masters a Christmas card anytime soon...

Heading to Scotland

After victories in Montpellier, Northern Ireland, and Guadalajara, the Seahawk Masters travelled north again, this time to Scotland.

On 17th February 2024, the Masters faced the EKP Masters, a side made up of former East Kilbride Pirates players.

For those unfamiliar with British American football history, the Pirates are quite probably the most successful American Football team Scotland has ever produced.

Alongside the Masters, the Seahawks Women also travelled north for a training session ahead of their upcoming game in Amsterdam later that year.

Reunion in Glasgow

The night before the game, the Masters met in a park in Glasgow for the first time since Spain.

Straight away, it felt like no time had passed.

Conversations picked up exactly where they’d left off.
The atmosphere was brilliant.

Everyone was excited for the next day like kids on Christmas Eve.

Match Day at Kilmarnock Rugby Club

The weather?

“Miserable” feels generous.

• Grey skies
• Cold wind
• Intermittent rain

The kind of weather that tells you immediately:
“This is going to be hard work...”

Shehawks Prepare for Amsterdam

Before the Masters game, the Seahawks Women took to the field for training.

With plenty of new additions to the squad, the session gave everyone a chance to settle in before the Amsterdam tour.

The defence looked particularly strong, causing absolute chaos throughout practice with several dominant performances.

The offence, meanwhile, had a much tougher day, apart from a few explosive breakaway plays.

The Game Begins

By the time warmups started for the Masters game, it was already obvious the pitch was in trouble.

Soft. Wet. Slippery.

But none of us realised just how bad it was about to get.

EKP Strike First

EKP quarterback Ryan Hunter immediately showed his quality.

An absolute nightmare for the Masters defence, he:

• Scored on an option play
• Threw for another touchdown

Suddenly, the Seahawks Masters were 14–0 down.

Fighting the Conditions

Masters quarterback Rik Lowthion had a difficult afternoon.

The football handled less like a ball and more like a wet bar of soap.

Under pressure in the endzone, Rik eventually had to kick the ball away to avoid a touchdown, moving the score to 16–0.

A Game of Mud

Early in the second half, Hunter connected on another deep pass to make it 22–0.

The Seahawks finally answered back through recently “graduated” Masters defensive lineman Russ Polson, who lined up at quarterback and powered in on a QB sneak.

22–6.

That would be the final score.

Not because nobody tried to score again.

But because the pitch had completely given up.

Football in a Bog

By the third quarter, the field was destroyed.

Not muddy.

Destroyed.

Playing football became an exercise in survival.

One play sticks in my mind vividly:

I lined up against Masters player Paul Polson, playing for his former team and we basically just collided and stopped moving entirely because neither of us could get enough grip to push.

Another moment saw our running back and captain Scott Spearink break outside on a sweep play.

His legs tried turning left.

Physics had other ideas.

He slid helplessly towards the sideline like someone sprinting on sheet ice.

The Final Whistle

When the game finally ended, I think everyone was simply relieved.

The final whistle sparked even more chaos as players slid around the pitch celebrating in the mud, probably giving the grounds staff nightmares for weeks afterwards.

But nobody cared.

We were together.
We were laughing.
And we knew it would be months before we saw each other again at summer training.

Mud Everywhere

It took two showers to get clean.

At the time of writing this in 2026, I’m still convinced there’s Scottish mud hiding somewhere in my kit bag.

Looking Ahead

It was a tough loss.

But it came against a very good side.

And the Masters already knew what was next:

Joining forces with some of their friends from the Nationals and heading somewhere just slightly warmer…

Las Vegas, Nevada.

-Mike Ireland, Minister for Sports and Culture.

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